Suicide crush
by Lady dream-chan
Summary: Rated for character death, suicide, and suicidal thoughts. Light Yaoi, Jaden/Syrus. Angst/Drama. One shot. Syrus likes Jaden but can't tell him, he tries suicide but it doesn't work like he plans, but he still ends up dead. Jaden blames himself.


_'Plip-plop, plip-plop'_

_"It's raining, seems like it rains a lot now a days," I thought as I stood on a side walk with my head tilted upwards, allowing the rain to fall to my face. I had already been soaking wet._

_There weren't many people out side at the time, but the few that were out were holding umbrellas above their heads and giving me some look. They probably thought I was crazy, and who knows, maybe they were right to think so. After all, I was a mess. My hair was messier then it ever had been with all sorts of gunk just matted into the dozens of knots, my cloths were muddy and torn with stains every where. Oh yea, and did I mention that I was missing a shoe?_

_But I continued to walk aimlessly, as if oblivious to them and their looks and side way glances. But just because it didn't look like I'd noticed doesn't mean that I hadn't. I wasn't so stupid as to not see such an obvious thing, even though most thought that I was._

_Soon I found myself at a small river. There was an old yet sturdy looking wooden bridge so I had decided to walk to the middle of it and just watch the water as it flowed down stream. After I looked at it from the bridge I realized that even though it was narrow it was deep, very deep. But I still saw my reflection in the water, though it wasn't clear thanks to the ferocious current._

_I stood there for hours; I hadn't even noticed when the tears began to fall or when the memories started to swirl threw my mind, making me see it all over again._

_XxXxXxXx Flash Back XxXxXxXx_

_"Hey Sy, what's up? You seemed kind or down earlier, what happened?" he sighed._

_"It's nothing Jay, don't worry about it," he said it with a forced smile, just trying to cheer me up, but it didn't work. I could see right threw him._

_"But I am worried," he looked down at his feet. "Sy, come on, you know you can tell me," I say, but he just shakes his head. I look at him, my eyes begging for him to tell me so that I could help him, but he's not even looking at me. Apparently his shoes were more interesting._

_I sighed and walked away, silently praying that he'd tell me, but he didn't, not then at least._

_The week after that I asked him again but he told me to 'drop it', so I did. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have told him no; I should have said that I cared too much about him to just 'drop it', but I didn't. Then next day was rainy. No, wrong word, it wasn't just rainy, it was a storm._

_Every one was suppose to go to the closest dorm near them, I was already on my way to Syrus's, but when I got there he wasn't there like he said he would be. So I decided to wait a little. But I couldn't wait for long._

_After about 15 minutes I ran out of the room and started to search, I was screaming his name as loud as I could, afraid that if I didn't he wouldn't hear me over the rushing winds and thunder clouds. The wind was so strong that I fell down a few times._

_But after a while I saw him. He was standing at the edge of a cliff with his back to me. I could have sworn that my heart shattered. "Syrus," I said as I tried to find my voice, just moments before I had been yelling, but at the moment I couldn't speak above a whisper._

_But some how he heard me and he turned around. For a few moments we just stood there staring at each other, neither of us knew what to say. I had opened my mouth several times to speak, but there was never any sound. He was the first to speak._

_"Jaden?" he said, his voice was much like mine had been; and once again the silence sank in. But it didn't last as long this time. He began to sob._

_"Sy, what's wrong?" my words drenched in my worry. He shook his head for some reason._

_"Do- do you promise th- that you won't h- h- hate me?" he asked._

_"I could never hate you, you're my best friend," he stared at me for a brief second before I saw a faint smile._

_"Thanks," he sighed, "I- I have a crush on- Ah!"_

_"Syrus!" I yelled as I tried to grab his hand. The wind had blow so strong and suddenly that he had lost his balance and fell. I managed to grab him just as he fell off of the side of the cliff._

_"Jaden!"_

_"Hold on Sy, I won't let go," were my words. But all the rain was making our hands wet and slippery. I tried to keep my grip, I really did._

_"Jaden, I'm slipping," he said._

_"I won't let go," I tried to pull him up but all that did was make it harder to hold on to him. I looked down past him to the roaring, ragging waters._

_"It's no use," he said; my head snapped back to him and I looked him square in the eyes._

_"Don't say that," I said. But he just smiled._

_"But it's true, and since it is true I want to tell you some thing," I wanted to argue, but instead I listened to him. I didn't want to miss what he said. For some reason I couldn't._

_"Jaden, you're the one I have a crush on," and with that he let go, and I watched him plummet into the water with a silent splash that sounded like the only thing in the world to me._

_XxXxXxXx End flash back XxXxXxXx_

_By that point my body was visibly trembling as the sobs wracked threw my body. I felt helpless, useless, and weak. 'I could have saved him! I could have helped! Why? Why did he let go? Why?' I had thought._

_It was like my memories were taunting me. Showing me that scene so many times, reminding me that I could have done some thing, some how trying to tell me that I could have saved him but instead I let him fall. It was like a big slap in the face._

_I had lifted my head to look at the water. It wasn't as violent as the ones during that time, but I had to ponder 'Would they be enough to kill a person, or just enough to hurt them?' and then I thought some thing that I never thought that I would._

_**'I wonder, if I jumped would I die?'**_

XxXxXxXx

A/N: Hi every one. I was in the mood to write some thing depressing so this kind of popped into my head. Sorry if Jaden's a little OC-ish in this, I hope you liked any way though.

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

Bi-bi every one ^_^.


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